The Stranger at the Cafe

Casually, like a timid boy
making his first contact with others...
the old man leans over the counter
where he'd perched, moments ago, like a shy bird
- hesitant and uncertain -
words seemed to hover over his lips,
minutes pass, like eternity

I am waiting, watching the twist on his face
as he struggles to break the protective wall.
The wall... the block between he and I,
the words that may be misconstrued, awkward gestures -
for we are both strangers,
each in his world and that of the other.

He is hefty, muscular, like he would break the counter
with a single blow... yet he is vulnerable!
His bashed eyes, the color of the ocean tell me so.
They are distant!
Staring into a space I can't define
staring as though a stranger's world would open another door.

Then I mutter words I do not remember,
and there he speaks, the man from Copenhagen
speaks in the language any stranger speaks to another.
And his vulnerability, like his shield are bare before me.
He says he's been robbed.
And Oh! don't you know we are always robbed of something?

I almost giggle, yes, I almost do,
for how can a bully with thick muscles and hypnotic eyes be robbed?
I do not ask him, I feel his vulnerability, his lies, his despair.
I will answer your questions, old man who let himself robbed
in the broad of light....
You'll tell me we will meet again.... but I know we won't.
I give you what you want. I'll give you because tomorrow
I will sit at the counter where you are sitting
and another shall be at my place.

We only meet at the crossroads,
like strangers... and point to others the path they are seeking.
We meet at the crossroads,
like strangers... seeking a light in the darkness of our path
a light only others possess.
I am your light today, the voice that tells you where you are.
Tomorrow, you will be a light for a stranger, on the crossroad.

The Choice to Live: The Well Is Deep within You

The Choice to Live

You'll still find many people living a slow suicide, the kind of thing like deliberately choosing to die. Such are the people who hardly create joy for themselves, they seem to harbor within them a distaste for almost everything they do. We all have that part of darkness within us and we spread it around us also, listless moments where we may go for hours losing touch with our inner selves; like actors on a stage we strive to make a pleasant face before others, straining to hide our fears, our pain, our deceptions. Many people are not happy, and most of the people you think are successful aren't happy. And most of the unhappiness we feel everywhere we go is what we carry within us.

When you were younger than you are now, you had dreams, petty dreams, big dreams that set you unto life's gory paths, that set you through unbeaten tracks... You might have dreamed of taking the "less untraveled road" that makes the difference. After many years of searching, you got what your heart desired, your dream job... and a great love-filled-life, and family and cars and lots, a whole lot of cash lodged in your bank account. Yet.... yet, you still feel so afraid, so terribly afraid you are always losing something.

Sometimes I have wondered, as you yourself might have wondered, in your night of uncertainty, if life couldn't just be easy: something like it could be easy to rise, easy to work, easy to have fun, easy to just get what you want. Yes, life could be that way, and I bet you, it would be such a moron kinda life. So much of our sadness springs from the fact that we have - consciously or unconsciously- refused or neglected to let the throb of life surge up from within us, we have laid down blockages and barriers across the channels where love could flow in and out of our humaneness. One great enemy of happiness is to feel that your happiness could come from someone else, or something, or some place. That is a big lie. You create it, you let it out by growing more and more to humanity: that is what you are. It starts with the feeling that you are unique, that you are just you - flawed, weak, yet beautiful. It is the feeling that is contrary to self-pity, the feeling that sees the grace of life just every where around you.

Your job, your-dream-come-true exhilarating experience, your friends and loved ones are just spices that season the sweetness of the joy you are called to carry around. It is a gift that is akin to our being human and it flows out with the corresponding sense of inner freedom. If your happiness would depend on others you will become a slave of a whole scheme and system that will condition your attitude and restrain your potentials. You can't just do what you want to do that makes you happy because the people -- the source of your happiness-- may get in the way, the sense of creativity is hampered and love becomes conditioned.

Live like you depended on no one, love like there never will be any other instance, embrace your freedom of the child of light, pursue your dreams without being afraid to fail... for, even if you fail, you have the experience of the road that makes things different. Treasure your solitude, embrace your pain, generate your happiness but never forget that you are a part of humanity.

For my short but intense span on this wan earth, I have known one certain truth: the more you are in touch with your deepest feelings, the more you will open up to humanity. The more you walk the path of compassion -- I mean the heart of human -- the more you discover the springs of life waiting to water the deserts of your life. Believe in yourself. Believe in the light within you. Someday, that hidden light will be the only sign for others to discover sense and meaning.

Are Filipina Mail Brides for Real?

Filipinas are known for their warmth, solicitude and patient devotion to the men they love. This explains why many foreigners, both young and old, make frequent trips to this Pearl of the Orient in search of their other halves. It is worth noting that the greater part of the Philippine population is composed of women, which makes it really hard for most of them to find the men of their lives. Nonetheless, Filipinas are known to be amongst the group of people who adjust easily and who are eager and willing to embrace other cultures.  If you want a Filipina bride, you may consider the Filipina Mail Order Brides. Do they exist? Where can one find Filipinas who are ready for marriage without travelling all the way to Asia? What are the challenges in finding an honest and perfect Filipina for a bride?

With the emergence of online dating and the numerous social media tools, one does not need to travel to the Philippines in search of a bride. You will find mail order brides in almost every dating site. Free sites such as OLX and Craigslist also feature single Filipinas who are searching for honest foreign men. Facebook and Tagged are the most frequently used dating channels by Filipinas. Finding a perfect Filipina woman for marriage may seem to be very easy with the large number of women advertising themselves in these sites; however, it is worth noting that what glitters is not always gold. With the increasing number of internet fraud and identity theft, you will want to take the necessary steps to ensure that you are dealing with people who are authentic and honest.

To protect your identity, it is important to not give out sensitive information about yourself in the first communication you have with any woman.  Taking the steps to verify and ensure that you are dealing with someone who is trusted is very important. It is not uncommon to find old women who display photos of younger women or those of models on their profiles. If you use a chatting tool that allows video sharing such as Skype and Yahoo Messenger, you will be able to confirm the physical appearance of the person with whom you are dealing. Do not just stop at requesting for photos of the woman who catches your attention.  Developing the habit of talking to her often and sharing videos will help you establish whether the woman is consistent, coherent and honest. At the initial stage of your online dating, you should use a fictitious name that will not betray your real identity.

It is worth noting that Filipinas are very sweet and they tend to seek attention, something that is commonly referred to by the locals as lambing. You will need to be patient if you want to win the heart of a worthy Filipina.  You should also guard against those women who use dating sites as a place to make money. Yes, you will find cam girls with uncouth manners soliciting money and promising to show their nude bodies via webcams. Some may start off well in the chats and end up asking for favors. Honest Filipinas have a great sense of self-respect and dignity and will never ask money from the guy they love. If you are mindful of the above tips, you will be able to find a great Filipino Mail Bride without running the risk of exposing yourself to dangers that breed in the Internet world.

Facts About Filipino Mail Order Brides

The emergence of the internet has made it very easy for people to interact and even find their significant others online. The mail order brides is a reality that has been around for years, and it has evolved over time with the improved technology. Today, you find dating sites that offer the opportunity for people who want to connect with others very easily. Although you can easily find the right mail order bride in the Philippines, there are certain facts you should consider.

Relationship or Sweep Getaway?

It is characteristic for certain women in underdeveloped countries to seek an escape from poverty by advertising themselves on internet dating or mail order sites, hoping to hook up with old men who can get them away from their plight. The Filipino woman is faced with the same dilemma. It is worth noting that the greater part of the population is composed of women, and among the few men available for marriage, a good percentage are gays. Women find it hard to find the right man for marriage. They tend to look outside, hoping to find someone who can love them and remain faithful to them. You'll find honest and sincere women looking for love, but there are always con artists who just want to get away from their poverty. Finding a job in the Philippines is not easy, and those who find jobs in the country are not so well remunerated. Most Filipino mail brides are not honestly looking for marriage, they are looking for people who can take care of them and their loved ones.

The Concept of Family Is So Strong

You must be ready to accept the broader idea of family when looking for Filipino mail brides. If you love a Filipina, you should automatically love her extended family. Most women from the Philippines will travel to other countries to work for their families. For them, family is above everything, and if you're from the kind of culture where people live for themselves, you'd better look elsewhere. Filipinos love to live close to home, and they are happy inasmuch as their loved ones are secure and happy as well.

Scams Are Part of the Game

You can never say with certainty if you're dealing with a real woman or with someone who wants to screw you. Dating scams are everywhere, and it is very common to find people who use beautiful pictures and mail order bride profiles just to lure you into sending them money. There are thousands of stories from men in the US who start an dating online, exchanging emails, and maintaining a consistent email correspondence with women in the Philippines. They fall for these women and start investing for them. Some will get money for their travel to the US, but then suddenly cease to exist. The men never hear any more from them after the monetary transaction has been completed.

Long Distance Relationships Are Always a Big Challenge

Talking with someone you're not seeing in person is quite different from the person with whom you can sit at the cafe, or have a dinner at the restaurant. People can hide behind the computer screen, concealing those features you do not want to see about them. People who are naturally shy, reserved and introverted can be outspoken when they sit behind their computer screen. The problem comes when you meet them personally. You realize that you have been talking with a stranger, you do not feel the chemistry at all. This is one of the reasons why mail order marriages hardly succeed. There would be the need for the couple to get to know each other in a physical way. And most often, this chance is not given to them because of distance.

Mail Order Sites: A Rich Terrain for Crime

With mail order marriages, the couple hardly have the time to know each other. You do not know if the man with whom you are talking every day is the serial killer the FBI has been looking for over many months. People have suffered a lot by getting married to strangers, and sex predators also use mail order dating sites to prey on beautiful women.

If you want to find a mail order bride, it will be important to understand how dating scams work, take the time to verify the identity of people you deal with, and create opportunities to know the person you want to marry very well. You should understand that people are not articles you can buy at eBay. Creating genuine and long lasting relationships is not something that can happen overnight, neither is it something you can do over chat rooms. Connecting with people physically will allow you to test the chemistry, and understand the unspeakable language that issues from the depths of their being.

The More I Love Him, The More It Feels Like He'd Changed

This kind of statement announces fear, hurt, frustration. When a woman starts saying he'd changed, you can put everything negative into that word; for if he changed for the best, he'd simply have been referred to as being wonderful. 

The illusion that people have when they enter into a relationship is that it will always be the same: sweet, beautiful, romantic. Here is the fact: love will grow and make you feel better, or it will wane, leaving you in the cold. It is important to know how to keep the flame aglow, and make your lover keep falling for you again and again and again. Below are points that may help you understand why you feel the way you do and how you can rekindle the flame of love and keep it burning. 

1. Why Does It Feel Like He Has Changed

You'd need to find out if you're acting on your fear of losing him or the reality. If you've always felt insecure, eaten up with the fear of losing your lover, then you'll feel changes where there are no changes. It may also be that you're growing in the way you love him. Before, he was just something important, someone amongst others. But now, you start realizing that he may have the central place in your life. The desire to have him all to yourself can be so strong that it makes you even want more than he can give.

2. Dating Wasn't Yet A Relationship

When a man wants to have your heart, he'll bargain for it, he will do everything to get your attention. Dating is the period of "knowing", the period you test the waters. You are your best; yes, because you want him. He doesn't tell you the sad, gloomy part of him. It may scare you. You have a lot of time together. But when you are already in a relationship, things change. Believe me or not. The real marriage comes after the honeymoon. After the honeymoon, you'll experience the bile of it. He starts knowing you as you are. He starts feeling your ugly tempter. He knows that you do not wear that makeup everyday; he sees the real thing beneath the mascara. People are ugly when they are real. They can be scary when they take off the makeup. This is something we fail to appreciate when dating. 

3. You Create the Love You Need

You do not have to wait for love. Love is a seed that you must nurture. It'll not grow if you fail to cultivate your heart and make it fertile for love's roots to go deeper. He'd you want him to be the same when you're doing nothing? Instead of whining that your marriage is going downhill, you should start courting him again. Learn the secrets of courting. Rediscover, every day the power of falling in love. Novelty always attracts the human heart. Be creative, and find a way to take your lover out on dates; find time to be alone with him. It is important. By so doing, you'll be re-enacting the fire of first love and the enthusiasm you had when you knew each other. He might be so focused on his career that he fails to notice you. 

4. Make An Effort to Enter Into His Pain

Sometimes you're up, and sometimes you are down. Everyone experiences such moments. Such are moments you feel the heavy weight of just being human weigh over your shoulders. When people are suffering from work-related stress, they'll want you to be present. You'll be pushing him away if you nag and continually seek his attention. Instead of thinking that the person you love doesn't love you any more, you should learn to love him even better. Instead of asking him to be present, make yourself present. 

5. Do Not Neglect Yourself

One of the reasons people lose interest in those they were once crazy about can be neglect of their physical appearance. If you stop taking care of how you look, your guy will certainly not feel so attracted to you. Make yourself hot. Take care of yourself. Visit the beauty saloon; groom yourself. You may want to check your lingerie and move those dresses that do not make you look desirable into the dustbin. Learn how to make yourself attractive and desirable. The way you look physically can determine the level of emotional attachment he will develop with you. Stop taking care of yourself, and he won't find you desirable anymore. 

6. Do Not Forget Those Invisible Boundaries

No matter how much you love each other, there are differences you cannot ignore. These differences can enrich your relationship, and they can damage it, especially if you are too keen on how different you while ignoring that their differences can be important to them. Your resentment will make her feel belittled and oppressed. If you make you make him become very sensitive with your moods, he'll always be walking on an eggshell, afraid to hurt you. For love to grow, you should learn to admit that you are different; what can make love possible, in some situations, are not the things that lovers share in common, but those that make them different, those that compliment their flawed existence. Your lover might have been around you in bars you love to visit, and he might have been to the cinema all the time, just because he wants to keep you company. Do not think that he likes such places. It might have been a great sacrifice for him. 

A lot of things can happen that will make you lose the ardor you had when you started your relationship, but it's important to learn the art of seduction, and use it every day. Love is a journey, and a difficult one also. Creativity makes it beautiful and gives it a form. You'll learn to have his attention if you discover his love language and make the effort to enter his world, each day, exploring it with excitement. 

Embrace Your Fragility: Reveal Your Strength

THE feeling of being loved by another, of having a price in the eyes of another human person is so soothing and uplifting. Our success in life may depend on this... on the fact that we have someone to work for, to make life living for. This feeling infuses a new wave of energy in us. As blinding as it might be, it also has its light.

That explains why the ache of a broken heart could be acute, painful and far-reaching. The pain of a broken heart could be very difficult to heal especially if we do not accept it. I have been thinking about this for sometime. Someone shared to me the story of betrayal. She was bleeding. Her only love was cheating on her, making out with her best friend.

I did not know how to react to this. I know that every relationship is unique. The rules we imagine are always fake. Our models are fake. Our icon of love are fake. The only truth that defines a relationship is the dynamics of two unique hearts interacting, meeting, touching each other in their unique way. How could I therefore pretend to offer some help where I was a stranger. Yes, I will always remain a stranger to your pain. To anyone's pain. I will always be a stranger to another's wounds, they are sacred wounds, by approaching them, I am approaching a sort of sanctuary... I can only incline humbly, I can soothe it with silence, with a presence, with words, but I will never understand it. It may resemble a pain I have known, but it sure is definitely unique.

Well, this is what I told my friend: "That you are hurt. I am most certain about it. That you are losing the one and only person who has value before your eyes is nothing I can doubt. Yes you are suffering... sure that you are. But there is something you can't afford to lose. There is one thing you possess, which no one could ever take away from you, when you give it, it is out of freedom... out of an inner liberty that makes you what you really are. This thing is the gift that is you. You are your own gift, you are the only gift you can offer the world. However hurting, however flawed you may feel you are... you are precious. Can you learn to embrace yourself? Can you learn to touch your own wounds and to draw healing from them? One way is by accepting the fact that you are hurt, and then treating yourself with a little care, with some respect. It would worth nothing if you have value before others yet lacking this sense of dignity that makes you lift your head even if you are hurting deeply."

She smiled. And I dared say no more. I watched her in silence plunging into the depths of her tears. Yes, she was embracing her own pain. It is healing.

Healing Emotional Hurts

What is hurting? Where it hurts? Why it hurts? Did you ever pause to think about that? It could be you are ignoring the stern look from that "some-body" that made you feel like you were nothing, the harsh work, the undignified gesture that seemed to hush you completely down and make you feel like you are worthless. It hurts. You know it hurts. And sometimes you can't just explain why. There are those buried hurts from your past, the anger, enfolded within you that never had any outlet, the sense of treachery, of betrayal, of abandon.... the list goes on, and that make you hurt a lot, you can't even know where the pain came from. You have heard about psycho-therapy and such stuff like hypnosis. They work incredibly great to ensure healing. But here are some elements of truth you may like to consider in dealing with your pain.

One of the greatest emotional pain spring from our sense of being left out, our abandon, our frustrations of not being able to integrate with others. You feel like you are brushed aside, just like a worth-less, use-less thing. That is what i wanna talk about. The feeling might be so imperceptible... you do not understand how it comes about. That is what I want us to talk about, and I'd not love it to be professional at all, I am no professional myself. I am a beating heart reaching yours.

Do you know what hurts? That is the question I asked you in the opening line of this gist. And do not just take it less seriously... Most of us hardly know what hurts us and that makes the pain so cruel and searing. Knowing what causes your pain is a way of naming it. When you name the source of your pain, you become its master. Pain is a kind of "enemy" and knowing it means you start identifying ways to handle it. The immediate reaction we face when we meet with painful and disheartening circumstances is that of denying facts... we think it couldn't be possible. You may as well stand up, face high and say to yourself, with some gentleness: "never mind, such is life!" And know what, it isn't easy as that. You would need to acknowledge that things aren't always the way we want them to be. That is a thought that makes you expect less yet recognizing surprises. You'll never recognize the miracles that life offers if you can't admit that things could get so bitterly abnormal.

You ever know this feeling of pity, I mean feeling so dejected you say to yourself: "I pity you?" That could be so mean, sometimes, you know. Pity isn't a healing feeling, especially when it turns back to yourself... instead there is compassion that you can express towards yourself. Compassion means, holding your own pain with gentleness and and believing that you can start the journey again. Compassion is the welcome you offer your heart thirsting for recognition and love. You can start loving yourself... the journey begins there always. You best know what your pain feels like, realizing that you are hurting is getting ready to treat yourself with much patience and tenderness. Few people love this and few people actually draw the waters from their hidden wounds to make the seeds of their humanity flourish.

No one, no other human being can make you understand what you are worth. That others encourage you could be a sign of grace falling upon your pilgrim path. But only you can measure your worth and it is much of how you feel than what others see of you. Often emotional hurts never well up on their own from within us, they are a result of abuses and hurts we get from those we are directly or indirectly related with. But it falls back to us to determine what to do with those hurts.

Do not whine and rote alone in your pain. let others love you. You know what? There are still people out there who do not understand this: they are famous for lavishing others with affection but they do not even recognize their need for affection. Love is healing energy, wherever it comes from. Open to its call and let others pass through your wounds to cleanse the space that hurts within. Letting others inside isn't easy. It could be like revealing your fragility, you hidden wounds, your very "nudity" to others. It is worth the pain and it demands a lot of trust. You might be hurting so much because you do not open up to others. The person offering you affection and attention has a rare gift of his/her uniqueness that you will never find within you. Receiving this gift is empowerment...

Whatever the emotional hurts are, accepting and integrating them is a way of making your humanity open its petals to the beams of human affection. It does cleanse us, thoroughly.

What Makes People Like Paulo Coelho Great?

I have heard a lot said about famous people of all categories and walks of life: beauty models to athletes, politicians, writers, actors and humanists. Such are the kinds of people anyone would like to sit at table with, at least out of sheer curiosity - and who wouldn't want to know the real person after the impressive figure of a Barrack Obama or the French footballer, Zinedine Zidane or the famous actor whose film leaves a spell-binding effect on people? I would like to have Paolo Coelho for dinner. He is a small man in his fame. That may sound strange. But I bet he is so self-effaced and simple that you'd feel like drinking the honeycomb of wisdom if you'd sit at table with him. Such is the beauty of greatness.

The Brazilian writer has stirred a lot of interest in his writings and has left a particular impression on me. His themes are enlivening and daring; his style so simple and so close to humanity. I'd definitely like to know the humanity that lies beneath the inspiring writings. If I'd love to have Paulo Coelho for dinner. It isn't for something other than the fact that he appears to be so simple in his writings, so realistic and positive about life you'd think he lives in its very essence. I'd love to have a simple conversation with him and have the refreshing feel of words flowing like a river. I remember him saying in one of his interviews that speaking may not be as easy as writing is for an author.

Paulo Coelho is one of the famous authors who stands out in his sense of realism. He talks about things that are intricately related to our being human, to our sense of inner freedom, to our deep-most yearnings and to our endless pursuits of dreams dreams. I often ask myself sometimes while reading Paulo Coelho what his secret is. That would be a great question to ask a famous writer at dinner. But I think he'd give an answer that few would expect to hear, the answer I have heard echoing through the inspiring words of Henri Nouwen, the thundering eloquence of James Baldwin, the enlivening poetry of Kahlil Gibran and the overflowing beauty of great works of time: it is the beauty of just being a frail human. The secret of such greatness is the descent into human misery which does not only open the eyes to reality but help it see its transcendent beauty. You love this great author or actor because he or she reflects something of your brokenness ors echoes sounds of your despair.

DID YOU EVER FEEL LIKE CRYING?

No human is foreign to pain. And I am not talking about the kind of pain that touches us in our flesh. Although the pain in our flesh can affect us both emotionally and psychological, there is this pain that comes from the sheer fact that we are human. It is the pain of healthy people. It brushes us at the edges of our hearts; it gazes at us through every turn and detour we make, like a sentinel keeping watch at the threshold of our heart.

The pain I am talking about can be very subtle that we barely notice it, yet it accompanies us everywhere we go. Each person’s pain is unique. It commingles with heart aches and the itches we feel inside resulting from our inadequacy to love properly or the feeling of not being welcome. It mingles with our fears – both named and unnamed—the hurts, the insecurities, the frustrations, the heart-breaks. This pain conundrum upon which reposes the totality of our existence – our culture, our past, our unique history.

The tears that flow from the pain of being human are sacred tears. They are unique to each individual. Gaining consciousness of this vital aspect of being human, that is, made to dwell in pain is essential in our being with others. Pain is beautiful because it reminds us of our finitude and calls us to hope, to value life as a gift. The pain in our flesh discovers us to our weakness and opens a path towards compassion where love and communion become real. This sense of finitude, we welcomed, can become the stirring drive towards the acceptance of others with care and magnanimity.

I once asked a friend what she would do in the face of someone dying from a terminal disease. She looked at me, and then looked down at her toe, then back at me again. I knew she was looking for words. She was looking for an answer, words of healing—but she was helpless. At last, she said, “nothing.” And I’d say nothing also. In face of another’s pain, words might not be adequate. Yes, because only that person and that person alone can feel the depth of his or her suffering. We can only participate through a presence of love and sharing. Words can be hurtful sometimes, just like silence can be wounding also. The experience of pain in our lives should lead us to treat pain in another person with a lot of discretion, respect and compassion.

If you have dwelt properly in your pain, only then can you understand the symphony of the pain in another person. The sad thing in this world is that most of us deny our pain. Most of us take flights from it and live in our illusory isle. Most of us are afraid to talk to ourselves. You gain a lot of understanding by stepping into the realm of your suffering, embracing your own fragility and drawing strength flowing from the open pores left by pain. If you have understood the nature of the pain through which your humanity and character is sculpted, then you are free to embrace others living their experience of pain.

Stephanie Meyer's "Breaking Dawn" : Lessons of Success Stories

Isn't it obvious that the world had waited so much to be rocked by the motion pictures of breaking dawn from the time it was announced? I watched the crowds yesterday, while waiting in queue at the ticket counter of the Cinema and my thoughts turned to the author of this work. And I asked the question I have always asked about J.K Rowling's Harry Potter Series and why it became such a success. Stephanie Meyer and J.K Rowling have left a great impact on youthful minds. The curious thing about these two works is that they started simply, like a journey from nowhere; they started just too simply in the heart of the ordinary. But it was a journey that was about to shape heroes they couldn't fathom and bring fame and success to myriads of others.

Stephanie's journey started with a simple dream, like the kinds all have have. I bet you must have had such dreams like you would not even want to wake from them. Here is the lesson. She let the dream speak to her. She listened, and as she did, a new world opened before her... At that moment, she simply knew one thing: she had to work on that dream. It was a call, gentle and discreet at the same time. It was a call to the unknown. She followed it, daringly. She started writing the story that was to affect many people. Had she known it at the time, I wonder what she would have felt! That was how it started with Stephanie Meyer, but J.K Rowling success story also begins in a very curious way. On a train from Manchester to London, the idea of writing a story about a poor wizard boy coming to terms with himself suddenly hits her like a clarion call while she loused in the train. "The idea for Harry Potter simply fell into my head." She says. And thus began the journey that was to enrich the world with beautiful literature. Ordinary sparks becoming extraordinary through the strain of genius!

There is a Stephanie Meyer and a J.K Rowling in each of us. There is a story in each of us that can ennoble the world. I have heard many people say that they regret not having followed an inspiration that came to them at one moment in life. You do not need anything dramatic to start the journey of enriching your life. All you need is to dream awake, as Meyer did. Listening to the signals of life is important, working on them is what transforms us. We all have dreams and moments when life speaks to us with an eloquence that leaves no doubt that there is something in the way. Such moments aren't dramatic, we might only feel a nudge in the heart, an evading whisper that seems like a distraction. It may need courage, it may need time and discipline to dwell on a dream. Whether it fails or it becomes a success, it always changes us and shapes our lives and those of others. If you won't follow the spark in yourself, you may as well do it for others. Your dream may be the only door others may use to enter into life.

YOU CAN MAKE THESE THINGS HAPPEN: Unleash Your Energy

Have you ever been struck with a sense of wonder and imagination that the world could have been different, just too different and more beautiful than what it is? Have you ever thought, in your wildest fancies, that it could have been easy to be born, that it could have been even much easier waking up in the morning, that it could have been much much easier just getting at the things you have always desired? You might have felt so belittled by the grandeur of the world. Today, I tell you, you can achieve these things you have always dreamed off, you can make them happen, here and now. The energy is in you, hidden, unleashed! You need to set it free. I will tell you how most great people who have shaped the fate of humankind have done it. They dared thought beyond their sheer nerve: they thought positive.

If you think success, you will get success. If you think sickness, it will certainly cripple you. The mind is a tool; it channels of the vibrations of energy distilled in and around you towards things you care about most. You might be feeling very emotional because you allow your thoughts to tilt towards you perceive hurts. You can as well change perspective and look at the other side of life. Remember: the greatness of man lies in his capacity to tune with diverse and complex situations. If you meet challenges resolutely, you will transform them and in transforming them, you will transform something within you into an element of success. It is all about having a positively motivated mind-set, the discipline that is the choice to see the light beyond darkness; this is knowing that things around us may affect us in the way we see them.

Think positive: Let your mind select what you act on. The more you think positive thoughts, the more your actions begin to move towards them. The more you think positive, the more thoughts prompt you to change things around you. You can decide to win your inner freedom from wringing yourself from the somber thoughts that cloud your vision and make you feel lour. If you think beauty, then you will discover it in everything around you; if you think success, then you will eradicate failure, for every failure will only be a path opening to knowledge and greater possibilities. The world is full of beauty and energy; the world is there for you to aid you. You can claim your space in the universe by positively reaching out to the thing that awakes you to life. That is where lies the secret of success. If you have set your mind resolutely upon a thing, everything in you and everything around you will conspire to win it over for you. That is faith. That is how reaching into the center of life is. Fight against anything that distracts you, anything that makes you feel less you. If your goal is hard to get, it is the more reason to reach out passionately for it. Once you get it, it will open a broader path in you for the beauty of the world to pass through.

RE-CLAIMING YOUR PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE

There are many people who feel completely out of place. You must have experienced that uneasiness, the feeling that you do not belong, that you’d better be elsewhere. It comes to everyone, at one moment in life. It comes to everyone when life seems unfair, where the structure of society with its laws and regulations suffocate our deep-most desires and when we always feel like everything is against the very thing we ardently yearn for. You feel like you are doing the job you were not created for, you are married to the wrong person, you are growing in an environment that continually robs you of the things that make you fulfilled and complete. This feeling is akin to that of not being welcome.

But I tell you, now, child of the universe, re-claim your place! You belong here, here where you are. Instead of complaining and whining that life is unfair, you can claim what belongs to you and enrich the space where you feel welcome. Always be confident that you are not a fruit of the hazard. And no one is fruit of the hazard. The universe into which you are born has deposited seeds of incomparable beauty and unique riches in you. You are the only one who can step into that sphere within and unlock the key to success. You will do this by continually nourishing and exulting in the childhood you are called to live: “Unless you become like little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.” And that heaven is here below, it is in you, it begins the moment you start realizing your preciousness and deepening your child-parent relationship with the universe and its Author.

Growth is realizing that we are dependent. Real maturity is not autonomy; it is dependence. It is all about understanding that we can be the center of the universe without pushing others from where they belong. It is the conviction that we are very precious to the world just like any child is precious to his or her parent. It is having this confident trust in the designs of nature that always brings the best things to us like parents do for their kids, or at least, like good parents do.

Do not throw your preciousness as feed for the fodder. Re-claim it. Attract every positive thing towards you by intentionally claiming it, just like children do. Relive beautiful moments with joy and push away, as much as you can, any thought that seems to suggest that you are not worth what you are. Happy people attract happy events towards themselves. The world begins to transform around you when you start exulting in the place you occupy: The moment you choose to reclaim this place, the entire universe begins to conspire for your success, adding spices that makes that place the most comfortable place of welcome. This thought alone should compel you to reach out towards your dreams with unswerving certitude and passion. Re-claim your place and give yourself the most welcome in the universe you occupy. Your place is here!

THE CHOICE TO FOLLOW YOUR PATH

We all grow with great ideas and dreams. Each of us wants to be something, to make a name, to succeed in a career, to stand out in his or her unique nature. You might have noticed that those dreams fade away, they die slowly, because many things come in the way and you might have stood in the way also. Following our dreams is never easy especially when the path to those dreams involves others. You find yourself in the constant struggle between following your deep-most desires and what society wants from you. You find yourself going through periods of inner turmoil because you can't reconcile the concepts of who you are and what society wants you to be.

Truth is, you can never be happy without grasping unto that thing that really defines and makes you feel complete. You can choose to follow your path, however difficult it may be. It is your path, the path that opens you to life. It happens that the thought of it frightens and scares you. You may be feeling like you would have to stand against the entire world. The choice to follow this path can be cause of a lot of suffering. It can also cause you great losses, like friends who feel abandoned because you are following a star that leads you to where you were meant to be. But mind you, following your path also means embracing solitude. I am not talking about "aloneness", not loneliness.... I am talking about the creative, somewhat painful solitude of listening to calls that only you can understand, of knowing that no one can interpret the dream you are about to follow but you, the feeling that you will walk that path alone. And if you find someone who understands you, you should welcome him or her with delight. It is a grace that is hard to find.

If you have a dream, it is now you should stand up for you. Do not push for tomorrow the journey you can start today. It will never start because tomorrow doesn't exist, and when it does, it comes with new colors and new beckons. Do not regret the things you missed yesterday, they are no longer yours, they belong to the realm of forgetfulness. Your dream... that which you have beheld at night, you should dream it now with eyes awake. You should believe in your dream so much as to take up arms for it. You should believe in yourself so much as to take off the veil that society casts over you and affirm your personality. Great things never come easily. They come only to the brave of heart and that a thing is hard to get is the more reason to fight for you. As you fight for your dream, you grow inside and a beautiful personality shapes within you.

COMMON SIGNS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM YOU SHOULD KNOW

Hey, I know you'd start shaking your head after reading the title, but yes, I am going to talk about low self esteem in people. You and I are part of this gist, because we have a certain level of low self esteem. You'd have to read on. If you do not read beyond this line, I would take that as one of the symptoms of low self-esteem in you. People with low self esteem hardly listen, they only hear their need for love and attention, they want to hear it from everyone, but they can't honestly admit it to themselves.

One of the natural things we are born with is the need to love and be loved. The feeling of low self esteem, or poor self judgement, is intrinsically linked to our need for love. People with low self esteem live with an acute sense of incredulity, hardly believing that they are worth anything and always looking for signs of love and affection. They are constantly anxious and disturbed; they are always seeking, uncertain and hesitant. Even when people around show love towards them, they doubt it, they want re-assurances, and this makes them even more anxious, always questioning and looking for gestures that will confirm what they think. If the person who professes to love them does not act in the way they expect, they either become embittered or overly anxious to please him or her.

People with love self esteem hardly take charge. They are afraid to make mistakes and lose points. They are vulnerable and gullible, accepting anything that gets them noticed. They are either perfectionists or nothing. They won't do anything until they are very sure of it, which makes it really difficult to accomplish great things since they will always see themselves lacking. You will not believe this, but I will tell you anyway: people with poor self esteem hardly forgive themselves. And since they cannot forgive their inability to make themselves loved and successful, they also find it really hard to forgive others. Ask them a simple question to get their opinion and they get on a rambling spree of defenses. Sad though, but it is sometimes true of you and me.

There is a deep seethed anxiety you will notice with people, an anxiety which is akin to their sense of power. The desire to be loved is also linked to the desire to control and to manipulate. This happens very often in relationships where people suffer from the stigma of low self esteem. The relationships with others is chaotic, based on blames, scores and the desire for attention. Most people suffering from low self esteem would become promiscuous, using sex as a tool to reach out and win the attention from others. They are so preoccupied with the way others see them that they fail to love themselves properly. Love starts from home. You can only make yourself lovable to the extent that you love yourself, that you touch your fragility without fear, that you dwell in your wounds while they heal, discovering your finitude and the need for others in an open attitude.

Only those who have loved and been hurt, can nurture the festering wounds of humanity. As long as you close your eyes to your fragility, you will remain a raving beast. Humans are weak, broken creatures and that is what makes them even more lovable.

THE WAY YOU SEE YOURSELF: It transforms you and the world around you

The way you see yourself determines the kind of person you are. If you think you are a moron, you will feel and act like a moron. Thoughts are powerful. They can shape our life the way we want as well as make it all shambles. The moment you start seeing yourself as a failure is the moment you start failing, and (mind you!), ruefully also. Self-image enters into every facet of our life, touching everything we touch, think, and set eyes on or the things we create. The image you have of yourself projects itself into the world around you and to people you deal with. If you look low on yourself, you will certainly nurture a poor attitude towards people around you. It is the way you think about who you are; it matters a lot, and it might be the only tool you need to transform your life and reach self-actualization. 

The parameters through which you look at yourself matter a lot. Most of the people I have met are wont to measure their success with regard to the achievements of others. There is no better way of riding downhill than comparing yourself to others or trying to think, feel and act like them. Let others inspire you, but do not allow yourself to be swept off your path with the efforts to emulate them. People with a healthy attitude towards themselves understand that their path is unique. They accept it and walk through it with unwonted pride and unswerving conviction.

I was talking to a very beautiful woman to whom I made the compliment that she was very pretty. She smiled, and her answer was unexpected: "Yes, I know," she said and barely had the words come out than she apologized and said it was a joke. I smiled, and then told her, "It ain’t a joke. It is the way you see yourself. That is who you are, and that is the only thing that matters. I definitely like the way you see yourself." Few people see themselves as beautiful. Not everyone looks back at himself or herself and say, with some pride, "I am beautiful." And you can feel the uneasiness and the discomfort within which many people wallow, always looking for masks to hide their faces as though they were hideous creatures. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. If only you knew that you are not a product of chance, or an accident of nature, that you are irreparable and unique the way you came out from nature, invested with seeds of inestimable gifts and astounding potential, then you would look at yourself as a miracle of nature, the quintessence of creation itself.

A sick mind creates imbeciles, a positive mind breeds genius and those that are still filled with the spark of wonder, as you would find in kids, transform the world. One of the authors I love a lot is Henri Nouwen. In his book The Beloved, he laid stress on the fact that we are heirs of a Divine heritage; fashioned in the image of God, we are unconditionally loved by Him. Children of God! Could there be any thought as could spur sentiments of self-importance and positive outlook at life than that of feeling loved by the Father? No man or woman, born into this world is so lonesome as to feel dejected and useless. If you could look at yourself as "the Beloved of Creation", then you would recognize the potential that resides within you and the limitless possibilities that open before you. Today, you could as well go up to the mirror, and instead of searching for wrinkles or pimples, utter the words: I am beautiful, I am loved. That could be the beginning of the transformation of the world around you.

The Secret: You Can Get Anything You Want

"The Secret" is considered one of the Self-Help Books that can transform your life. It didn't take long after its release for it to get on the Bestseller List, earning great fame for its author, Rhonda Byrne. The book was soon followed by the movie, steering some of the world's greatest teachers and coaches on the subject of self development, each of them with a high portfolio and a string of successes. The movie seemed to be designed to give credibility to the message of the book which can be summed up in a phrase used by John Asaraf: "You can have anything that you want; I don't care how big it is" The statement seems kind of naif, but it carries a heavy weight with it. And, yes, anyone would want to find out how to get anything he or she wants. The methodology is very simple: ask, believe, receive. At least, that is what they make us believe. But could attaining your dreams be that simple? Here is my humble thought about the Law of Attraction which defines the whole methodology of the secret.

The author of "The Secret" believes that the Law of Attraction is behind every success of human life. By believing in a dream, you can actually attain it. There is the belief that there is a certain consciousness to which everyone can connect. By connecting with this universal consciousness, you can actually tune with those who share same sentiments and thoughts, hence drawing things to your life. The mind is energy, and it is the central command of the nervous system. The mind, by giving command on the nervous system, can actually affect our emotions and our movements. The way you think can affect things you do and what happens to you. But mere thinking and belief is different from the science that defines the art of asking, believing and receiving. The belief that you can get just anything you want is laudable enough, but alone, it cannot guarantee the success you are looking for.

The lives of great minds like Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Jesus Christ and many others prove that the Law of Attraction demands focus and consistency. You do not only need to like something enough to own it. You will need to develop an aching passion for it. If you have a dream, you will not merely wish that it were a reality; you will think about it constantly, meditating on it, formulating positive statements about it. By so doing, you will be developing a consciousness that is centered on it. By so doing, you will be opening your mind to locate tools and paths that can lead you to that dream.

The Law of Attraction is not simply about attracting the things you want towards yourself, it is more about going for the things you want. To get your desired job, for instance, you will not fold your arms, close your eyes and rely alone on visualizing. By internalizing the object of your passion, you will be able to concentrate your energy, your thoughts, your emotions and your activities around it. Great people succeeded through dint of hard work, focus and unswerving persistence. The secret of attraction is awareness. If you like something, you will talk about it, think constantly about it, research on it, and use anything you find to reach it. You may fail, but the truth is, you will rise, learning new lessons. The truth is, you will discover signposts leading to that object that might, otherwise, be hidden to any ordinary man. It is because you attract that thing to yourself by cultivating consciousness centered on it.

Quick Payday Loan for DIRECTV Package: Thinking About Financial Autonomy

Before you get that payday loan for a DIRECTV package, you want to take one moment to ponder this with me. What is crippling your economy is your unabated craving for things. It's not just you, but many people the world over. You work pretty hard, you earn big, but you live like a beggar, from one payday loan to another. Loans are enticing and you can get them anywhere, and without much stress as it was the case before. You do not need to go through traditional banking institutions; private lenders populate the market, and as long as you can show proof that you are gainfully employed, you can get cash advance loans pretty fast. You'll never solve your financial situation if you work with loans. They're designed to make a harried slave of you, to make you earn for them. So how can you live without asking for personal loans? How can you manage debts, pay your rents on time, buy your grocery, and make savings for the future? 

Understanding Why You're In Debt

One of the problems faced by people who are heavily in debt is that they do not even understand why they are in debt. You'll hear people blame their financial plight on low income, or underemployment, or divorce which makes them lose a huge percentage of the shared property they had as a couple, and many others. The causes of debt can be very subtle, so masked you'd hardly recognize them. The first thing you should think about is how you live your life. If your standards are above what you can afford, you'll live in heavy debt. We live in a culture that advocates consumerism, and people develop the craving for things very much. Growth in internet and digital marketing creates an even greater need for consumer markets, and people easily find themselves wanting things they do not even need. If you take a look around your apartment, you'll find ample proof of what I am talking about. There are things you buy which you never even use, some that you use only because you bought them. Did you consider the reason of buying those things? It could be the because of the lure of the newly acquired credit card. And with the credit card, you can treat your friends out, eat at great restaurants, buy expensive lingerie, and ride beautiful cars. What causes debt is the innate desire to acquire things. 

Separate Your Needs from Your Wants

There is this cell phone I have wanted ever since. As a writer, I have always dreamed of a Smartphone with great applications for writing. I wanted the Kindle Reader the very moment I learnt it existed, and whenever I saw ads about these devices, I felt a swell in the pit of my stomach. But I didn't need them. I had something I could use. I still write with an old Compaq laptop I bought in 2005, it was a used laptop then. If I bought these devices because I wanted them, I'd be in debt, and I do not think I would have been able to pay the debt on schedule. If you spend out of necessity, you'll be able to save a lot of money for the rainy days. The things you want are those that empty your wallet and make your credit bill very high. You will start moving towards financial autonomy if you start by living simple, with little or no wants. You should make the resolve course to cut down your expenses, and choose a cheaper way of life. Things that are trendy can be cause for much temptation. You watch ads on TV and you suddenly want to buy that Cable TV or the DIRECTV because everybody talks about it. These are things you can buy, but seeing them advertised will make you want to have them instantly. That is what the marketing strategy is designed for: make you want the thing so much that you even steal or get a loan for it. Things become even easier with lenders like www.greatplainslending.com who will offer you instant loan. You can even apply for the quick cash loan from the comfort of your home and have the money in your bank account pretty fast. Isn't it really tempting? 

Save For Your Wants

Never get a quick cash loans or payday loans just for things you want. If you must get a loan, make sure it is for an emergency, and make sure you only get what you need. When you find a lender who is willing to offer you loan, you'll even feel more tempted to get more. The fact that loans are easy to get even make some people create needs. As someone who wants to earn financial autonomy, it is most advisable to spend more for your needs, and to use your debit card for shopping, not your credit card. The debit card helps you monitor your expenses more closely; you do not pay interests and fees for the debit card. If you have a credit card, the temptation to buy things will be stronger. It has a lot of power, but it is a power that rebounds with devastating consequences for those who cannot master it. If you start saving for things you want, you'll never run into any financial difficulty. You should make sure you save a percentage of your salary for emergency situations, and also have a savings plan for the future. If you do not do this, you'll certainly be on the way towards bankruptcy.

Learn the Old System of Budgeting

The success of any financial plan depends on the budgeting strategy that you use. Good budgeting should help you save more and spend less. If you are focused on success, you'll make sacrifices for it. Think about your short term and long term financial goals, and start working for them now. If you start saving for your dream home now, you'll not need a home mortgage to buy it in the few years ahead. If you live with credit cards, you'll certainly buy your house on a loan. This doesn't give you the inner freedom of ownership of that house. The thought that you can lose it will always haunt you. But if you start budgeting for it, saving a little from your earnings, you'll not need any loan to settle it. If you budget well, you'll avoid losing money on interests for loans, administrative fees, and penalties for late payments. Budgeting is all about taking control of your finances. You may want to hire a financial expert to help you handle this for you if you are not good in financial management. Learning to live with little is the secret to achieve great wealth.

If you have considered the above points about debts and loans, then you can now say whether you really need to get a loan for that DIRECTV package. Discipline is very important if you want to be financially autonomous. You'll need to sacrifice your wants and only spend for your needs. There is no other way of breaking the vicious cycle of cash advance loans. If you want to free from debt, never consume things before you earn money to pay for them. 

Getting More Traffic to Website: How to Use Yahoo Answers

Yahoo Answers is amongst the highly rated natural tools to get traffic to websites and blogs. However, getting traffic from this site will depend on how creative you are and how much time you invest in the effort. If you want to get good and quality traffic that convert to clients or blog readers, then below are things you should do.

Yahoo Answers Are Categorized: Choose a Category

Before you start anything, you should make sure that you have written good content, and that you are expert in the field. Even if you're not an expert, by doing research and maintaining great content in your website or blog is something you should strive to do. With great content, you should proceed to choose a category that aligns with your niche. If you write about relationships, it will be logical for you to choose a category that features questions on relationships. The reason you do this is simple: you want to be convincing when you start leading people to your website. You do not want them to consider you as a scammer for just posting links that do not even reflect the questions.

Give Quality Answers to Questions in Your Topic Area

You just do not want to answer to questions; you want to be the first to answer to these questions. Let new readers find your answer before getting to answers that follow. By making sure that your answer stays above the others, you are pitching yourself in a way and getting more visibility. Although you may be eager to contribute and share the link to your website, there are things you should avoid, at all cost. Avoid leaving a laconic answer followed by your link or just simply putting your link as reference. Intelligent people who would have become valued readers will pass, and they will lose trust in you. By taking time to answer in a convincing and informative way, you'll gain trust from visitors and other commentators. Sometimes people will ask you to share more if they feel that you have the knowledge they are looking for. That is when you can simply point them to your website or blog.

Do Not Forget to Vote for Your Answer

Going back to the post and voting your answer is important. You want to stay at the top, and it is important for you to vote for your own answer. By voting for your answer, you are making it one of the best answers. There are people who are keen on these votes. Besides voting for your own answer, you can also use Yahoo Answers as a tool to go through the writer's blog and find relevant keywords and topics on which to write. This is one of the popular sites where people search for answers with keywords, and by using these keywords creatively, you'll be able to increase traffic on your blog and retain.

Use the Search Tool to Your Advantage

The search tool enables you to find the most recent posts related to your keywords or your topics. You can get around things by creating new posts that contain the keywords you find on Yahoo Answers and linking them with the answers you post for questions on the site. You can also ask someone to post questions that are relevant to your topic so you can have advantage of commenting and linking it to your wonderful post.

It is not hard to get traffic from Yahoo Answers. By constantly commenting, voting for your answers, and entering your links in the "sources" function, you'll get the attention of those who are genuinely interested in the topics you treat.

Crossing the Threshold of Pain

There is no dignity in suffering. If suffering were beautiful, it certainly would be someone else’s suffering. However, suffering has a certain value. Besides the fact that it enlarges our spirit, it speaks a language to us and it awakens us to the consciousness of living purposefully. Just like darkness helps us define light, so is suffering. It opens our heart’s portal to the mystery of love. Experience has taught me that people who have suffered a lot and have transcended their pain become very rich in their humanity. Having touched pain in their own flesh, they become sensitive and very humble when they sense it in other lives. Proud and arrogant people are those who haven't yet understood this and their arrogance reveals the depths of their misery.

There is no pain that the human heart cannot bear. And people hardly die of pain. In his touching tale of Life in Auschwitz, Frankl decries the harrowing and devastating experiences of the concentration camp. This book is about finding meaning in the heart of experiences that stripes the human of all dignity, lays him bare and utterly vulnerable. The pain can be so terrible that the only possible path of escape is suicide. Yet, few people consider suicide. In his practice of logotherapy  he has often asked his patients who have undergone immense suffering why they never committed suicide. Someone would always have something that links him or her to life, something s/he would live or die for.

People discover the power of love in moments of abject suffering. Instead of suffering for love, suffering becomes a path through which many roads are opened in their lives. A woman who has undergone throes of birth would know what I am talking about. And that experience reveals that something always comes to life when we suffer. Something is born within us, something that adds value to life and something that links us intimately to life. There are two things that happen when we suffer. Suffering can destroy what is human in us, or it can make it can sharpen our faculties and unleash the hidden, creative energy within us.

Suffering destroys when we do not dare to step outside of its chamber. This happens when you look at it as evil, daring not to face it. This is very common especially in situations where the pain is inflicted. The immediate reaction is that of shock and retaliation. Bitterness can be born from this experience. A person, shut into his chamber of pain becomes restless, domineering and unforgiving. But the person who dares step beyond its threshold sees things differently, looks at the world with a new understanding, and unleashes the creative force that redefines his identity. There is no pain that the human person cannot grow from. The truth I have learned is that when we step out of our darkness, we can bath in the luminosity of the light streaking from the brokenness of others. That is what stepping beyond the threshold of pain is all about.

Knowing Where It Hurts: Handling Midlife Crisis

Ideally, midlife is the period when life should be very interesting with people living their dreams and reaching their professional goals. Unfortunately, this period of ripe humanity can also be the crisis point in the journey through life. Instead of celebrating life’s achievements, you are jittery, uncertain and afraid. Instead of experiencing the fullness of life, you are plagued with unnamed fears. Something always seems to be missing and the unsettling prospects of old age begin to loom in the horizon and you start doubting if you are really where you were meant to be. There is no need to fret about this and worry about growing old. It is important to know that you are not alone in this experience. There is much you would like to say “no” to, but there is a lot you must have to resign to as well.


There are many who go through midlife crisis without even understanding what is happening. Ignorance of what is happening can be very tragic in that you may find yourself reading situations in the wrong perspective and making choices that can be regrettable in the long run. Understanding what happens during this crisis can help you avoid making a big problem of what could have been a transitory moment of change. The insights discussed in this article will help you understand how to handle this challenge and find meaning in life.

 Some Symptoms of Midlife Crisis

 There are many signs that can call your attention the presence of midlife crisis. One of these signs is restlessness. Restlessness and anxiety can result from the fear of growing old. Old age can appear to be a threat to life. The awareness that you’d soon be dependent on others and incompetent of things you’ve always done with ease can be unsettling. For some, it can even become a nightmare that stirs their thoughts continually. You are aware that the clock is continually ticking and that your days of active life are running out. You become very conscious of your looks and can be really uncomfortable when you look into the mirror and discover grey hair on your head or new wrinkles on your face. This can be very disturbing especially if you have unfinished projects and dreams that are not likely to become reality. This period can also be characterized by instability in your relationships. Some people are known to have problems with their marriages at midlife. You can also feel like you have made wrong choices in life or that you have lived your life pursuing dreams that were chosen by a teenager your once were. Frustrations become a routine and you feel like you are a failure. People often tend to be touchy and emotional at this point in life. However, you can turn this phase of life into an inspirational moment and discover life’s real meaning in the seemingly absurd pain of being human if you understand what is happening and why you feel the way you do.

 How to Handle Midlife Crisis

There are no standard solutions to midlife crisis. What is most important is that you understand what is happening at this crucial moment in your life. You may not even need to do anything. Midlife crisis can be the only opportunity for you to ask the important questions about life. At such moments, the quest for meaning becomes inevitable. Instead of taking flights and seeking recluse, you begin understand that life is a challenge to take, and that it can only be meaningful as long as you accept reality as it is. It is not uncommon to find people who start blaming others or external circumstances for their frustrated hopes and dreams. The experience of life at this stage cannot be any better if you put the blame on others or even yourself. The result can only be bitterness and isolation. If you understand the crisis as a phase in life, then you can deepen your love for others and open up to life with gratitude.

 Openness to Life and to Others

 Life can only be meaningful if you accept it as a gift. The moment you start feeling that it is treating or has treated you unfairly, you start being manipulative. The desire for success at all cost is one of the things that push people to be individualistic and domineering. Much of the isolation people feel is self-chosen. You want to stand on your own. You want to make your choices and to pursue your dreams. This feeling of freedom has many attractions, but the downside is that you become a lonely and frustrated person. Although you may experience a sense of power and feel like you can move faster in life without others, you still carry the fear of failure within. Do not be afraid to reach out to others. Others will always enrich you from their own experience. When you open your life to others, you soon discover that you are not alone on the journey and the thought itself encourages you to stay positive. Midlife crisis may require you to make changes in life, but the most important is the decision to be open to others, to let others touch your vulnerability and to discover the joy of love and communion.

 You Are Not a “Failure”

 Most of the pain that people suffer at midlife results from the illusions they have grown up with. In youth, we are all full of dreams. We believe that we can change the world by following our dreams. But life waits for us with its tests. The realization that life can be cruel and challenging can be frustrating. This is something we hardly realize as we grow up building our castles in the air. When they come tumbling down, our eyes open and the reality of our vulnerability is stunning. Life is essentially about who we are like and how we relate with the people we love. When our castles start falling, it is tempting to feel that we are a “failure”. We discover how hard it can be to grow old with the love of our adolescence, to stick to the dreams that have kept us going. Yes, growing can be very painful. Maturity happens the moment we start accepting the bitter truth that we are flawed, dependent and short-lived. When this happens, we begin to welcome change with serenity, we live each moment as a gift, filling it with the best that we have, accepting and loving others in a way that enlarges our universe and enriches our humanity.

 If you are in crisis and feel that you cannot handle things properly, then it is prudent to talk to a professional. It is also prudent not to do anything the moment you feel that things are not the way you’d like them to be. Midlife crisis can be a time for you to rethink the choices you’ve made or an opportunity to accept them with serenity. The journey towards maturity involves the realization that we cannot live without pain. The pain that wakes us up to reality equally helps us to mature in love, discovering the infinite possibilities that open within our souls. We would be capable of forgiving ourselves and embracing life courageously if we understand that this stage in life prepares us to enter into another phase that is filled with beauty and fulfilment.

Simple Steps to Walk Through a Breakup

It really hurts knowing that a relationship or marriage is over. At first you might want to deny it. The pain you are going through can be really excruciating. Your heart is being ripped apart and the pain is both psychological and emotional. A breakup can even affect your physical health. Moving on is a challenge, but you can do it! You can decide to make it a difficult journey or you can turn it into one of the most beautiful things that ever happened in your life. If you want to make this journey a fruitful one, if you want to use it as an opportunity to enrich your life, then you can consider the tips below.


Admit the Fact That It Is Really Over

 The journey towards healing starts the moment you admit that it’s really over. Yes, this isn’t an easy thing to do, but you must come to the point where you tell yourself, “It won’t really work. It is definitely over”. The decision to move on is a way of loving the person you have been involved with for years, and it is also a way of loving yourself. The earlier you come to this realization, the quicker you’d move on. Don’t waste your time looking for ways to re-connect with your ex or to win him or her back. It is time you start thinking about yourself.

 Learn to Love and Take Care of Yourself

 You will realize that in almost every painful relationship that is doomed to end, one of the partners is often abused, in one way or another. You might have cared so much for your partner that you gave little time to yourself. No one deserves to be unhappy in a relationship and you deserve the best. No one can argue about that. You should convince yourself that you deserve more than a hurtful relationship. You should start giving yourself the love you deserve. This is time for you to unwind, to discover the beauty of the person you are and to do the things you have always loved to do which the relationship prevented you from doing. You can do this if you stop making excuses to meet or connect with your ex husband or wife. You should be able to tell yourself, positively, and with conviction that you deserve and will get the best. Pamper yourself and look for occasions to add color to your life. It is also time for you to rediscover the beauty and love of family.

 Implement the “No Contact” Rule

 It will be hard for you to move on if you continue to meet your ex husband or wife. After breakups the pain can be really terrible and you may feel as if you’d die if you leave him or her definitely. The truth is that you can really survive, and you can survive even better without him or her. Avoid making excuses to meet him. It is not easy to forget an experience of a love that has gone on between the two of you, but it won’t help if you continue to make excuses to re-connect with him or her. Some of the excuses can involve things like the desire for final closure, the curiosity to understand the reason for the breakup, and the fact that you both frequent the same circles of friends. The earlier you cut communicating with him, the easier will the healing process be for you. The sense of loss can also be so strong that you’d want to become friends with your ex, maintaining a physical relationship without any commitment. It is what they call “friends with benefits”. This is not an ideal thing to do. You will hurt yourself more and invite more trouble if you seek any contact with him or her.

 Be Easy on Yourself

 One of the things you should avoid after a breakup is the feeling of guilt. It is not uncommon to find people who go through life feeling guilty for a relationship that never worked. There is nothing you can do about the past. You can either accept or learn from it or you can allow it to haunt your thoughts for the rest of your life. There is no way you will be completely whole if you continue to feel that it was your fault that the relationship never worked. It is easy to point fingers after a failed relationship, to blame your partner and to foster feelings of hatred. This attitude of mind won’t help you move on. You can look at the relationship and move on with gratitude for the beautiful things that happened during that relationship. This is easy if you learn to forgive yourself.

 You can easily put your life back together after a breakup if you focus on yourself and learn to love yourself first. Always remember that you can never love anyone properly if you fail to love and treat yourself with kindness and gentleness. Do not grieve for a lost love so much that your grief blurs your vision from seeing true love when it comes your way. A breakup can be a blessing in that it allows you to discover more about yourself, to focus on yourself and to cultivate qualities that can make your life and career even better than before. If you have spent your time striving to please people you love, then it’s time for you to please yourself and do things that make you happy and fulfilled.

A Healthy Way to Shed Belly Fats

You must have probably heard or read a lot about the magic pills out there that can help you lose weight in a very short period of time such as HCG and a number of others. Maybe you might have tried some of these magic pills, but you cannot hope to get the best results with them. Some of these pills come with a very expensive price on them, and since you cannot depend on them forever, you can't be certain that you can get right back into shape and stay that way for long. There are basic facts on metabolism that you need to know if you really want to the workout that produces the results you want. Getting in shape is about developing your insulin sensitivity and being in total control of it. The process starts in the kitchen and ends at the gym, and you'll not need tedious and challenging workouts for this.


Insurance resistance can be the only reason behind a big belly. You won't be able to burn fats if you have a high level of insulin resistance, if you eat foods with a high score of insulin, you'll tend to store fats instead of burning it. Rice is one of the carbohydrates that contain a high insulin score and people who feed on rice will hardly lose belly fats easily. Since carbohydrates produces energy, that is stored in the fat cells in the body, you'll tend to keep the fats the more you eat foods that contain a high level of insulin score. If your body cannot use all of this energy, it will remain stored in the fat cells around your belly area. You'll need the right workout tool or program to get rid of the fats around your belly. It should be noted that sit-ups and workouts that do not speed up metabolism will do very little for you if this is your situation.

To burn the fats in the belly, you'll need cardiovascular and weight training that stimulates hormones like Thyroid Hormones which are needed to burn fats. Lean chicken is a protein that can help in increasing the metabolism of the body and creating body heat needed for the metabolism to go on. You'll need a full body workout exercise that makes your heart burn. You do not have to be in the gym the whole day, and you do not need to exercise every day as well. All you need is to focus for about 15 minutes on exercises that involve your whole body and that raise your heartbeat. These could include intensely rowing for three minutes. You can do this for 7 times in one workout. Repeat the same exercise every two days.

The kind of food you eat is very important, and it is advisable to be very selective on what you eat if you want to shed some fats in your belly. Foods that support your metabolism and that do not increase your insulin level are those you should consume. You'll also gain more fats if you do not get enough calories in your body. Low calorie level can lower your metabolism which won't support you if you want to burn fats. Some people starve themselves while they work out, forgetting that they need to replenish the lost calories they burn on workouts. A sugar and starch free diet can also bring great results if you want to get back in shape. By cutting these completely from your diet for a number of weeks; this will increase your insulin sensitivity and boost your metabolism.

You should note that low carbohydrates is not intended to be a form of diet, you only adopt to this kind of dieting to gain a short term goal, which is increasing your insulin sensitivity. After workout, you'll need to take sugar for recovery. Generally, your diet should consist of low fat foods, moderate levels of carbohydrates and protein, and low sugar. Another important aspect of your dieting should be to increase the quantity of water you drink. This will help to flush out the toxins in the body while you get back to shape. If you have certain health conditions, you should consult with your physician first before undergoing any regime or taking any food supplements. By combining full body workouts with the right diet, you'll be able to achieve your goal without feeling any strain at all.