Knowing Where It Hurts: Handling Midlife Crisis

Ideally, midlife is the period when life should be very interesting with people living their dreams and reaching their professional goals. Unfortunately, this period of ripe humanity can also be the crisis point in the journey through life. Instead of celebrating life’s achievements, you are jittery, uncertain and afraid. Instead of experiencing the fullness of life, you are plagued with unnamed fears. Something always seems to be missing and the unsettling prospects of old age begin to loom in the horizon and you start doubting if you are really where you were meant to be. There is no need to fret about this and worry about growing old. It is important to know that you are not alone in this experience. There is much you would like to say “no” to, but there is a lot you must have to resign to as well.


There are many who go through midlife crisis without even understanding what is happening. Ignorance of what is happening can be very tragic in that you may find yourself reading situations in the wrong perspective and making choices that can be regrettable in the long run. Understanding what happens during this crisis can help you avoid making a big problem of what could have been a transitory moment of change. The insights discussed in this article will help you understand how to handle this challenge and find meaning in life.

 Some Symptoms of Midlife Crisis

 There are many signs that can call your attention the presence of midlife crisis. One of these signs is restlessness. Restlessness and anxiety can result from the fear of growing old. Old age can appear to be a threat to life. The awareness that you’d soon be dependent on others and incompetent of things you’ve always done with ease can be unsettling. For some, it can even become a nightmare that stirs their thoughts continually. You are aware that the clock is continually ticking and that your days of active life are running out. You become very conscious of your looks and can be really uncomfortable when you look into the mirror and discover grey hair on your head or new wrinkles on your face. This can be very disturbing especially if you have unfinished projects and dreams that are not likely to become reality. This period can also be characterized by instability in your relationships. Some people are known to have problems with their marriages at midlife. You can also feel like you have made wrong choices in life or that you have lived your life pursuing dreams that were chosen by a teenager your once were. Frustrations become a routine and you feel like you are a failure. People often tend to be touchy and emotional at this point in life. However, you can turn this phase of life into an inspirational moment and discover life’s real meaning in the seemingly absurd pain of being human if you understand what is happening and why you feel the way you do.

 How to Handle Midlife Crisis

There are no standard solutions to midlife crisis. What is most important is that you understand what is happening at this crucial moment in your life. You may not even need to do anything. Midlife crisis can be the only opportunity for you to ask the important questions about life. At such moments, the quest for meaning becomes inevitable. Instead of taking flights and seeking recluse, you begin understand that life is a challenge to take, and that it can only be meaningful as long as you accept reality as it is. It is not uncommon to find people who start blaming others or external circumstances for their frustrated hopes and dreams. The experience of life at this stage cannot be any better if you put the blame on others or even yourself. The result can only be bitterness and isolation. If you understand the crisis as a phase in life, then you can deepen your love for others and open up to life with gratitude.

 Openness to Life and to Others

 Life can only be meaningful if you accept it as a gift. The moment you start feeling that it is treating or has treated you unfairly, you start being manipulative. The desire for success at all cost is one of the things that push people to be individualistic and domineering. Much of the isolation people feel is self-chosen. You want to stand on your own. You want to make your choices and to pursue your dreams. This feeling of freedom has many attractions, but the downside is that you become a lonely and frustrated person. Although you may experience a sense of power and feel like you can move faster in life without others, you still carry the fear of failure within. Do not be afraid to reach out to others. Others will always enrich you from their own experience. When you open your life to others, you soon discover that you are not alone on the journey and the thought itself encourages you to stay positive. Midlife crisis may require you to make changes in life, but the most important is the decision to be open to others, to let others touch your vulnerability and to discover the joy of love and communion.

 You Are Not a “Failure”

 Most of the pain that people suffer at midlife results from the illusions they have grown up with. In youth, we are all full of dreams. We believe that we can change the world by following our dreams. But life waits for us with its tests. The realization that life can be cruel and challenging can be frustrating. This is something we hardly realize as we grow up building our castles in the air. When they come tumbling down, our eyes open and the reality of our vulnerability is stunning. Life is essentially about who we are like and how we relate with the people we love. When our castles start falling, it is tempting to feel that we are a “failure”. We discover how hard it can be to grow old with the love of our adolescence, to stick to the dreams that have kept us going. Yes, growing can be very painful. Maturity happens the moment we start accepting the bitter truth that we are flawed, dependent and short-lived. When this happens, we begin to welcome change with serenity, we live each moment as a gift, filling it with the best that we have, accepting and loving others in a way that enlarges our universe and enriches our humanity.

 If you are in crisis and feel that you cannot handle things properly, then it is prudent to talk to a professional. It is also prudent not to do anything the moment you feel that things are not the way you’d like them to be. Midlife crisis can be a time for you to rethink the choices you’ve made or an opportunity to accept them with serenity. The journey towards maturity involves the realization that we cannot live without pain. The pain that wakes us up to reality equally helps us to mature in love, discovering the infinite possibilities that open within our souls. We would be capable of forgiving ourselves and embracing life courageously if we understand that this stage in life prepares us to enter into another phase that is filled with beauty and fulfilment.